Fearing The Dreams

So many questions,
lie behind the sweet,
                    dark, unseen,
                          lieing hope,
             behind her,
                      Rich brown eyes.
         Look at her.
What do you see?
              Strength?
                       Courage?
                                Happiness?
I see..
              Misery,
                         Fear,
                               Weakness.
While at night,
            You rest your pretty eyes,
                   and your hopeful mind.
While she is awake in fear.
          "What do people see?"
                   "I need to hide this!..."
                           "Who can read threw me?"
                                  "How much more can I loose before it's hurts me?"
A restless to-do list
              A restless mind full of fear
                      for disappointment.
Spirit's voice cry and begs
         her to sleep and dream
               all of her happy memories.
While she begs for perfection
        from all of this imperfection.
While she begs for appearance
         of those who've guided her.
                         Yet stolen from her.
Every night, restlessly she speaks
           out to the Gods:
                 Reassurance, Hope, Dignity.
Calls out to those who,
         are no longer along.
               Who are only along,
                      ...as angels
2 AM comes still,
        Tossing and Turning
  Wondering and Questioning
the future and the loss of hope.
     Teachers look and wonder.
         Unable to detect what lies
behind what is appearing to be fine.
              Yet, day-by-day becoming more
                               Vulnerable.
     Slowly beginning to be unable to lie.
The untold are beginning to...
        ...be told
Her lips sealed,
              by lipstick.
Her eyes sealed,
              by eyeshadow.
Her hands sealed,
              by one another.
Her bags sealed,
              by foundation.
          Yet,
Her heart unsealed,
               by passion.
                    by truth.
                         by love.
So many questions,
lie behind the sweet,
               dark, unseen,
                    lieing hope.
Behind those,
            Rich brown eyes.
      Look at her.
What do you see?
              Can you break her from
                                         the barrier?
       To see all the
                 untold truths.
   Let her come clean.
              From day one
                       You've loved her.
                                   Do not fear
                       the truth.
The truth should only make you
    Love her more.
Let her sleep,
       Let her dream
              Let her mind wander
                     Under whats no longer
         a night-terror.
But under a
            Life-Filled Dream

Dear Mark,

     Your Laugh.
Your Voice.
          Your Morals.
        Your Outspoken Language.
Everything about You.
                    The one and only You.
Linger through my mind,
          Like a girl with her first broken heart.
    Broken heart from love,
                 Torn away from her like
                                  A Rose          From
                         A Rosebush
Like
      A heart ripped and stolen
      from the safe home known to the body.
           Pain,
               Loneliness.
                     Humbly torn.
Without You around...
How am I suppose to feel,
when I go home,
with the ability
               To see Your grave
                       Of Your full-filled love.
Without You around...
How am I suppose to react,
when I go home,
without the ability
             To wake to the smell of coffee
                       Of Your life-filled attendance.
Without Your around...
How am I suppose to take in,
when I go home,
with the ability
           To sence the sadness
                     Of Your no longer appearance.
     Cars, Gas, Garage.
                 Nothing seems real.
Wake me now,
         From this hurendous nightmare.
                   Let me see what
                            once was.
                   Let me hear what
                            once was.
                  Let me touch what
                            once was.
From just a spur
                          of the moment
             To receiving a call of Your no longer
                                       presents.
Now with God
          before any had a chance to say,
                               I Love You.
                    Many torn.
                    Many haunted in disbelief.
10 Days before Christmas...
                                                Gone.


RIP Mark forever in our hearts, prayers, and endless memories
We love you